Painful Heart
by Ironic-Sarcasm
Summary: Sora feels the night of with himself would be nice. Roxas x Sora Rated for cursing. Edited.


**Warnings**: Shonen Ai. Bad Words.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or Kingdom Hearts II. I don't own Kairi, Riku, Sora, or Roxas. Though… Roxas is my fictional boyfriend. :3

_**Painful Heart**_

It was Friday night…. I really should have been out with Kairi or Riku but today… I just felt like I needed to be with myself, or rather, catch up with myself.

I sat in the bathroom, on the sink, waiting for him to appear. As my reflection faded, his appeared. First, ghostly, then solid. If I didn't know better, I would think I was crazy and that I wasn't myself anymore, but my other me. I beamed at him.

"Hey Roxas," I offered. He quirked his head without returning my smile.

"It's Friday night, dufus. Shouldn't you be out and not talking to yourself?"

"I already went over this…." I mentioned as he crossed his arms. He gave me a stern glare, as if he were a concerned parent rather then a teenager.

"Well, go ask Kairi out or something. I'm Nobody, why talk to me?" Roxas asked as he turned away from me and leaned on the reflected sink. All I saw was his back and his spiky head that was very different then mine. His were more like cowlicks. Mine were like spikes that could kill someone.

"What if I don't want to ask Kairi out?" I retorted. "What if I don't like her like that?"

Roxas's finger lifted and spin in a circle. "Whoopy-flippin'-do, you broke the poor girl's heart." His voice was uncaring… why was he like that all of a sudden?

"Hey, don't rag on my friends, okay?" My face burned. "They respect you, you know. They think of you as a person!"

Roxas turned to face me, slamming his hands on the porcelain sink. His face was furious as he hissed, _"They haven't met me!"_

"Yes they have!" I took a step back, furrowing my brow. Roxas wasn't ever like this… sure he was cool, calm, and collected but he had a sense of humor, he was kind, and he was one of Sora's best friends.

"Yeah, when I tried to kill Riku and when Kairi saw me… _that one time_!" Roxas threw his hands into the air and started pacing the reflective bathroom. He looked like he wanted out. He looked like he wanted to scream and rage. I felt the rage emitting from him, seeping through and under my skin. He wanted to break things. He wanted to break himself….

"Stop it, Roxas!"

Roxas stopped pacing. He shot a look at me that pierced me to the very soul. He was hurt…. I stepped to the mirror and touched the cool surface with a concerned frown. "Roxas… what's wrong?"

My other self leaned against the bathroom door in the mirror. He looked up at the ceiling, huffing. He apologized softly, without looking at me. I let my fingers slid down the glass and finally onto the porcelain sink as I apologized as well.

"What do you have to be sorry for?" the blonde asked me.

I merely shrugged. "It just feels right…."

There was silence between us. I waited for him to say something. When he cleared his throat, he looked at me with sad, dark blue eyes that were somewhat like my own in shape, but the color was much deeper. They were… beautiful.

"I'm sorry, Sora…. It's just… hard. I've never really 'felt' before, you know? I just made myself think I felt something at a certain time. I pretended to have an emotion I couldn't feel… and now… it's hard adjusting to actually feeling. Feeling your emotions… feeling my emotions… the heart…" he clutched his chest where his heart should be. Maybe he had one now? "It hurts… a lot. Your heart hurts. It's heavy and painful and I'm just having a tough time regulating."

I frowned… I never thought about a heart being such a burden. I've always had it. I clutched my heart, much like he did, and closed my eyes. I saw Roxas in the darkness behind my lids. In my subconscious, he was in so much pain. I never noticed it before. How could I not? I continued to keep my eyes closed as I sat on the shower carpet under me. I laid on the ground, covering my eyes with my arms to block the light above me and to keep myself concentrated on my Nobody.

In my mind, I made my way to the taller blonde. He was in a crumpled heap on the dark nothingness. There was no ground beneath us, but I felt something solid. I wondered vaguely if there were any walls around us that I couldn't see. But the thought soon left my mind as I knelt in front of Roxas.

He looked up at me with hazy blue eyes and slightly parted lips. He adjusted himself into a seating position.

"Sora…?" he breathed. I smiled gently at him and embraced him. I felt his body tense before loosening himself and leaning his head on my shoulder. He was limp in my arms, but not in a dead sort of way. I breathed in his scent… he smelled like I did after I took a shower. Maybe it was conceded to feel this ways, but it couldn't help but thinking how nice it smelled….

"Sora, please…" Roxas whispered into my ear. I blinked and looked at him.

"What?" I asked.

Roxas clutched his chest and pulled away from me. He got to his feet and stepped back. I watched him with a deep frown.

"Go away!" Roxas shouted. "Please! Sora just let me fade! Let me fade into nothingness like I was supposed to! Why the hell do you keep hanging on to me?"

I froze. Why was I still hanging on to my Nobody? Why didn't I let him fade?

"Because… I don't want to, Roxas." It was the simplest answer he could give. There were many other reasons why Sora wouldn't let his Nobody go, but none that he could saw aloud.

"Well, _I_ want you to! Because of you, this pain just grows and grows! I don't want to feel anymore! I just wish I would disappear so that I _wouldn't_ feel it!" Roxas roared in rage. He grabbed a fistful of his own hair and began shaking. I knew he was violent when he was frustrated… I've always known.

I braced myself and stepped back up to my Nobody. I put a hand on his shoulder and stared him in the face with an unyielding glare. "Tell me, Roxas. Tell me exactly what you feel."

The blonde panted as he stood straight and placed a hand over his chest. "My heart—your heart. It's heavy. It weighs in my chest like a rock. And when I see you… it just beats faster, like it's trying to jump out of my chest. It's killing me."

I softened my expression for Roxas's sake. "I know…." He looked at me with those blue eyes. They searched me as he inhaled sharply. "I know that pain."

"What is it?" Roxas asked in the softest whisper.

I took his chin lightly in my thumb and forefinger, making him look at me I beamed at him. "Love."

With that, I pressed my lips softly against his.

**A/N**: This was short... really short. But I wantedas to make a fanfiction with Sora and Rox with Roxas in Sora's head.  
Blah. I don't like this one at all... I hate it. I had to edit the ending because it BUGGED ME how much I hated it and it made me hate it a little less.


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